Don't you understand English?

My wonderful Tuesday afternoon was hastily interrupted by the phone ringing. Concedingly knowing that I was inevitably the one who has to pick it up (DH was off to the Post Office) I eventually, politely greeted the person on the other line, albeit half-heartedly.

"Hello?"

"G'afternoon madam. We are calling from *** window glazing and err, bllllthhh ...conservatories..bllllth"

"err....sorry?"

continuing to blabber on I-don't-even-know-what-is-she-even-talking-about..

Even though I had pardoned ,

"yada, yada, bla, bla, bla...and so we are wondering if you have received...."

My brain seemed to stall. I don't even know whether it was because the way the lady talked that awed me or the fact that I couldn't be bothered. You see, we often get calls for the wrong numbers. And so we have developed an attitude of "ohh..you've got the wrong number"-and-hang-up attitude. But this time, there's something about this lady that I can't quite figure out...something, something about her speech. Not quite right..

I sudddenly realised that my thoughts had taken me far away from the conversation and so I snapped out of it...God! What is this minah blabbing about? Think!

Remember what she last said! "so we are wondering if you have received...."

And as fast as a dash of lightning replied...

"Er..sorry I think you've got the wrong number. We haven't received anything..."

Thinking yes nothing, apart from that pair of leather boots from e-bay...nothing. zilch.

And before I could even finish my sentences...she went chuckling.

"Madam….don't you understand English? Do you speak it?"

What???? Have I conversed in Jawa? or some alienated language?

"Excuse me??"

"I said, don't you understand English? Do you speak it?"

"Of course I do!" Habis yg org cakap kebende tadi? And I bet you wouldn't have understood what I said if it wasn't English!

"Well, we are from **** double glazing and conservatories and we'd like to offer you bla, bla..great discount and bla,bla"

Uhh...salesgirl rupanye. Kurang asam..

For the whole 5 minutes, I could finally tell why this salesgirl was so damn hard to listened to. This woman I tell you had the indian-british accent going on. I have no problem understanding people who converse in an indian-british or pakistani-british accent nor do I have problems with such people. You see, having Indians and pakistani landlords for a simultaneous 6 years does help you adapt to understand these accents and pick up what they say instantly. But to listen to someone who converses in an indian-british accent with a full mouth all at the same time doesn't help you understand any sense in any way.

This lady...she seemed to have full of crumbs falling out of her mouth as she spoke or saliva frothing out like water outflowing a bath. Lots of blllthhh..bllltttththhh..bltttzzzth! Gosh!

"Not interested..."

And again, firmly said "Sorry, I am not interested..."

"..yes madam we understand that you are not interested.."
how dares she cut my line !!!

"But..we would be happy to offer you cashback guarantee....yada, yada, bla..blaa"

"I'M SORRY, NOT INTERESTED!!"

"Alright madam.." hangs up the phone.

This stupid conversation spoiled my mood for the rest of the day. Am I too hard to be understood? I told DH about the whole conversation as soon as he got home and he said ..

"Actually, you should've said to her...Don't you understand English?"

Slapped my forehead. Yeah..true. Guess I was too numb listening to a moron-who-refuses-to-listen, to give such a reply.